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I haven't posted in ages, obviously. Today, I needed somewhere to record what I'm thinking. I don't know quite how to write about it without making it too personal, but I'll try. This is in no way directed at anybody on LiveJournal, or indeed anybody in particular, but the result of repeated interactions I've had with well-meaning strangers over the past few months.
I am deeply frustrated and saddened by the general lack of understanding non-Catholics--and even many nominal Catholics--exhibit toward the Catholic Church. I mean, I get it. We have rules and beliefs that--on the surface at least--strike the outside viewer as weird. But I want, more than anything, for people to give our views the benefit of the doubt and the respect they deserve, rather than dismissing them as antiquated, anti-science, anti-progress, however you want to classify it. The Catholic Church is none of those things, if you actually bother to take a look at her, if you make the effort to read the volumes of deep and thoughtful theological analysis that back up everything she holds dear. Don't turn my Church into a villain because it prohibits me from certain things that other people are allowed to do. Don't speak of the Church as though she is unsympathetic to the human condition because she makes demands of her adherents. No institution on earth has a better understanding of the trials and moral quagmires that face mankind. But some things are non-negotiable--some things are wrong, regardless of circumstances. What the Church does is call us all to be bigger than ourselves, greater than our own desires and failures. Don't act as though I am being limited by my faith when what I am actually doing is freely exercising it. It is my choice to humble myself and accept the beliefs of my Church even when life offers me an appealing alternative. Do not assume, because I do not grasp at that alternative, that I am brainwashed, dominated by the patriarchy, or any other phrase that suggests I do not know what I am doing and, therefore, my choices are illegitimate and unworthy of respect.
I recognize that many people are attempting to be sympathetic to me by expressing their dismay over the rules for life that the Church provides. They are truly warm-hearted people who want me to feel that they are on "my" side. But they're missing the point. "My" side is the Church's side.
The Church is the best sort of parent. It nourishes us, gives us valuable direction, and loves us unconditionally. It offers us innumerable chances to say "I'm sorry." It provides many sources of joy and many opportunities for growth, and it encourages us to make the most of the gifts we've been given. But, like any good parent, sometimes the Church says "no." Sometimes, the truly loving answer is "no." And we can stamp our feet and cry that it's not fair, because the kid next door can do it, so why can't we? An earthly parent would respond, "well, when you're an adult and you're the mommy or daddy, then you can make the rules, but not until then. Not until you have the wisdom and maturity and responsibility." But that response can't be the response of the Church. Because we are all spiritual children. Just as we still wish for the guidance of our earthly parents after they are gone--indeed, perhaps then more than ever--so we still need the guidance of the Church, our spiritual parent, throughout our lives. The Church will be my parent until the day I die, and with that parenthood comes the indisputable right to tell me "no," when "no" is the loving answer. If I accept that "no" with true humility, with an open heart and mind, I will always come to see the wisdom and the love of it in time.
And so, to those who see the Church as backward, restrictive, or wrong-headed, I say "no." It is none of these things. Look for the love, look for the good, look for the wisdom with a humble heart, and you will always find it at the source of Catholic teaching.
I am deeply frustrated and saddened by the general lack of understanding non-Catholics--and even many nominal Catholics--exhibit toward the Catholic Church. I mean, I get it. We have rules and beliefs that--on the surface at least--strike the outside viewer as weird. But I want, more than anything, for people to give our views the benefit of the doubt and the respect they deserve, rather than dismissing them as antiquated, anti-science, anti-progress, however you want to classify it. The Catholic Church is none of those things, if you actually bother to take a look at her, if you make the effort to read the volumes of deep and thoughtful theological analysis that back up everything she holds dear. Don't turn my Church into a villain because it prohibits me from certain things that other people are allowed to do. Don't speak of the Church as though she is unsympathetic to the human condition because she makes demands of her adherents. No institution on earth has a better understanding of the trials and moral quagmires that face mankind. But some things are non-negotiable--some things are wrong, regardless of circumstances. What the Church does is call us all to be bigger than ourselves, greater than our own desires and failures. Don't act as though I am being limited by my faith when what I am actually doing is freely exercising it. It is my choice to humble myself and accept the beliefs of my Church even when life offers me an appealing alternative. Do not assume, because I do not grasp at that alternative, that I am brainwashed, dominated by the patriarchy, or any other phrase that suggests I do not know what I am doing and, therefore, my choices are illegitimate and unworthy of respect.
I recognize that many people are attempting to be sympathetic to me by expressing their dismay over the rules for life that the Church provides. They are truly warm-hearted people who want me to feel that they are on "my" side. But they're missing the point. "My" side is the Church's side.
The Church is the best sort of parent. It nourishes us, gives us valuable direction, and loves us unconditionally. It offers us innumerable chances to say "I'm sorry." It provides many sources of joy and many opportunities for growth, and it encourages us to make the most of the gifts we've been given. But, like any good parent, sometimes the Church says "no." Sometimes, the truly loving answer is "no." And we can stamp our feet and cry that it's not fair, because the kid next door can do it, so why can't we? An earthly parent would respond, "well, when you're an adult and you're the mommy or daddy, then you can make the rules, but not until then. Not until you have the wisdom and maturity and responsibility." But that response can't be the response of the Church. Because we are all spiritual children. Just as we still wish for the guidance of our earthly parents after they are gone--indeed, perhaps then more than ever--so we still need the guidance of the Church, our spiritual parent, throughout our lives. The Church will be my parent until the day I die, and with that parenthood comes the indisputable right to tell me "no," when "no" is the loving answer. If I accept that "no" with true humility, with an open heart and mind, I will always come to see the wisdom and the love of it in time.
And so, to those who see the Church as backward, restrictive, or wrong-headed, I say "no." It is none of these things. Look for the love, look for the good, look for the wisdom with a humble heart, and you will always find it at the source of Catholic teaching.
